Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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