if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
