I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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