If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Your cock deserves a montage
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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