My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
