I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
