I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize