Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize