You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
