why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
