I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
