Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
