btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
