I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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