if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
