it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
