oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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