After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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