at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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