yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
