Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
