cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
