Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
