White coat. Heels.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
