Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
