The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
