kristin has been a bad kristin
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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