I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
