I wannas sexs uuuuu
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
