So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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