At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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