just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
