he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
