It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
