Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
