you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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