Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
