I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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