Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
