Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
