I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
