youre lurking in front of me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
