just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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