Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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