Dual....:-)
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
