I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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