Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
