Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
