I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Can Purell be used as lube?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
