Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
