Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
