What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
