I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize