Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize