Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
