Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize