That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
