in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
