Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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